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I’m starting to think plates are called china because most of them look the same.
Relationships are like yard sales... They look good from a distance but you get there & realize its just a bunch of sh!t you dont need.
Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop and where to spend it
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle
To the 84yo woman that won the $591 million dollar PowerBall, sup baby ;)
I always keep a spare pair of shoes at work that I change into so people don`t know it`s me when I`m taking a dump.
I`m pretty sure my laundry breeds while I sleep.
Bipolar smile :(: ...... Gets um everytime !
Fun: text a friend "Are you alone right now?" They go "Yes." Then u text back LOL
Sorry I didn`t answer when you called, I had 6 Peeps in my mouth
I wonder how many 5 Hour Energy`s it would take to levitate?
Some people should calm down, take a deep breath and then hold it for 20 minutes.
Just realized all books are different combinations of the same 26 letters. This is BS!
Boobs are like the Sun. You can stare at them directly just for a few seconds, but if you put on sunglasses, you can stare as much as you want!
Moses had the first tablet with cloud connectivity.