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Why do people say ”I saw it with my own eyes.” Do they sometimes use other peoples eyes?
If you could have all of Bill Gates` money or world peace, what colour would your Lamborghini be?
A lot of talk from the peasants lately about my arrogance.
I drink because people talk.
I think I`m approaching my "best if used by" date
If your boyfriend answers your text while playing GTA, he doesn`t love you. He just died on the game.
I’m glad people can’t see how I have them saved in my phone. Contact names like, “Don’t Answer” and “Douchebag” and “Owes me $100".
Remember when teachers asked to lie quietly with your head on your desk? My boss has yet to be impressed with this skill.
I like to think outside the quadrilateral parallelogram.
I made a huge TO DO list for this weekend. I just can’t figure out who’s going to do it.
A girl updated her facebook status saying: All men are dogs and I commented • Which breed is your dad?
I`m sexy and I know it really is....... your slutty and you blow it.
Nobody pissed me off today... I got to get out more.
If you see me out somewhere and act like you didn`t, you should know that I ignored you first.
If anyone lost a roll of hundred dollar bills,with a rubber band around it...I found the rubber band....