Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My wife said we should try some role reversal in bed last night. So I said I had a headache.
I bet the guy made of money in the Gieco commercial doesn`t ever ride his motorcycle on Martin Luther King Blvd in any town.
Caught myself yelling "F*CK YOU" to my burrito for dripping on my pants, if you were wondering who`s raising the next generation.
The phrase, “Don’t take this the wrong way” has a zero percent success rate.
JOKE OF THE YEAR: Two women were sitting quietly together, minding their own business.
Just give me coffee and no one gets hurt.
In all my years, I have never finished a pencil.
List of things I’ve accomplished today: 1. Accomplishments List
woman belong in the kitchen? thats where the knives are you fool.
The Walking Dead reminds you that other people would still be your biggest problem even if most of them died.
Today I met one of those people on the bus that gets all pissed off when you put your finger in their mouth when they yawn.
I love how twix come with two bars so I can eat one now and the other immediately after
Why would I pay someone to scare me at a haunted house when I could just open a can of biscuits at home?
Amnesia sounds so relaxing.
I`m saving all my good posts for when I can think of some.