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Just drank a `coffee to go` while sitting. Screw the system!
I`m a huge fan of screaming "You`re welcome" really loud when people don`t say thank you...
Got a little too much sun today. I knew I should have closed the blinds.
How long does it usually take for a Happy Meal to start working?.... It`s been an hour.
I think about hiring a maid way too often for someone who has plenty of time to clean.
Life is tough. It’s even tougher if you’re stupid.
I hear voices ... and they don`t like you.
Just one more drink and then I`m outta here" is one of my favorite lies.
All I ask for is a chance to prove money can`t make me happy.
Well, all I have to say is TGIF. (Post this on any day but Friday to get comments)
If you get excited that jumping on the bed won`t spill the wineglass on the other side, you`re probably an alcoholic.
I wonder if Earth makes fun of the Moon for having no life.
The way my dog acts, you`d think his entire family was murdered by a vacuum cleaner.
I`ve been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now I may as well call them traditions.
You guys make me wanna be a better alcoholic!