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A good lawyer knows the law. An excellent one knows the judge.
The block button is just the adult version of sticking your fingers in your ears and repeating "I can`t hear you" over and over
A lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided, if they had built their towns big enough for another person
The one good thing about an egotist. They don`t talk about other people.
The difference between cars and whales is that whales can swim and cars can`t.
Sorry I said "You`ll Do" instead of "I Do" at our wedding.
My last post deserves WAY more likes than that....let`s go people....chop chop!
Should vegetarians eat animal crackers? ;)
It’s not that I don’t want kids, it’s just that I don’t want a minivan.
I ate a shepherd`s pie for lunch. He was pretty upset about it.
I hate it when I see some old person and then realize that we went to school together
I have very poor ninja skills when it comes to staring at cleavage.
Seen it all, done it all, can´t remember most of it.
Getting told I can`t do something gives me all the motivation I need to get things done.
Beer never asks me if I think another beer is prettier than it.