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The Wizard of Oz is really just a cautionary tale about the lengths a woman will go to for the right shoes.
wondering if today is a good day to implement my plan...
Vodka is the answer...but I can`t remember the question.
Cubic Zirconium`s slogan should be: Guys can fake it too!
I`m about as lost as lesbian on ChristianMingle.com
If you need some help at Home Depot and are being ignored, get on one of their step ladders
The male version of a tramp stamp should be called a douche tag.
Just once...one time; can`t we buy a tree that doesn`t try to attack me when I come home drunk at 2am.
Kids eat free today? Nice... In that case, I`ll have a water and my son will have the steak and shrimp combo with a kids bud light.
My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, "What`s on TV?" I said, "Dust." And then the fight started...
Anyone want to be fake engaged for two hours so we can eat cake samples?
When everything is coming your way ... You`re in the wrong lane.
Underachieving Sunday through Wednesday, overachieving Thursday through Saturday.
Lazy Rule#15325434090371466: you`re so lazy you didn`t even finish reading the number.
I started drinking a little early. Yesterday, to be more precise.