Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you don`t know where you are going, any road will get you there.
Are you watching too much T.V but not doing enough reading? Turn your subtitles on.
He turned to her, ran his hand up her thigh, across her belly and down her legs. When he turned back to watch TV, she asked "Why stop?" "I found the remote!" he replied.
When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream
Is there ever a day when mattresses are not on sale?
if your an astronaut, and you don`t end a relationship with "look, I just need space.." then your wasting everyones time
Question: : What do you get if you add human DNA to a goat? ... Answer: Kicked out of the petting zoo
Calm down shouty museum man. I think it`s pretty obvious that I know how to ride a dinosaur skeleton.
I feel like I have not told enough people lately to kiss my mother f*cking a$$.
Your mother never saw the irony in calling you son of a bitch.
I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell. :)
Imagine coming home from a long vacation and finding your bathroom towels are wet from just being used. I can do that to your ex if you want.
I`m going to spend Valentine`s day with my ex.... Box 360
Crazy is not a destination, it is a way of life.