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I got on-line to check the weather...That was 12 years ago.
My wife just made a "special" dinner "just for me" for no apparent reason. I`m going to die, right ?
Is it ok to take a personal day if none of your pants fit? Asking for a friend.
If only my ceiling fan could hold my weight, then I would never be bored again.
Right now, a future teen mom is applying copious amounts of body glitter to herself.
m for Monday t for Tuesday wtf Wednesday Thursday Friday get it wtf
Screaming out "BOOM PREGNANT!" during sex is never as funny as you think it will be.
I’m pretty sure I could start a new life with only the crap in my car.
Last person to like this wins a prize.
Accidentally missed the freeway exit for home, now I`m heading north to start a new life.
Just blew the sugar off my donut… Dieting is hard!
This year’s box-office revenue is down 20 percent from last summer. I’m not sure why that is, but I`ll bet you there’s a documentary on Netflix about it.
Some families are like Snickers Bars. Mostly sweet, with a few nuts!
I`m hungry, but I`m not `cook something` hungry.
Porn can be so misleading. I quit my pizza delivery job after two days.