Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
*wants to travel the world but has like 3 dollars*
Men like football because the priorities in football are also the biggest priorities in every man’s life…. Scoring and Ball Security.
This is a test of the emergency broadcast system. Were this to be an actual emergency you’d be screwed, because no one takes this seriously.
Things I didn`t learn in high school... how to pay bills buy a house apply for college but thank goodness I can graph a polynomial function.
Exercising can add years to your life. For example I jogged 4 miles today and now I feel like I`m 73.
Can Walmart be a feeling? I think that`s how I feel today.
These old people at the bus stop really suck at paintball.
Paying bills is fun and easy when you have a bottle of wine and a shredder.
There was a piece of chocolate cake in the fridge and a note “Don’t eat me”.Now there’s an empty plate and a note “Don’t tell me what to do”
Okay, I am getting really irritated. This is the 5th ATM I`ve been to today that`s had "insufficient funds".
Well, well, well. Guess who the grocery store clerk asked to come back soon?
There are plenty of fish in the sea, but I like women.
Im really not just some idiot with nothing better to do with my time, I just play one in FB.
I thought we had nothing in common until I saw you buying 3 margaritas at a time.
Hangry: (noun) a state of anger caused by lack of food. May evoke negative change in emotional state. Translation -- Feed me or I`ll kill you.