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These police take Hide and Seek really seriously.
I am starting to think I will never be old enough to know better.
Your shadow: What happens when light travels 93 million miles unobstructed, only to be deprived of reaching the ground in the final few feet by you.
Roses Are Red, Violets Are Red, Trees Are Red ... F*ck? my gardens on fire!
BEFORE I GET DRUNK, NAKED,THROWN IN JAIL AND LOOSE MY DAMN PHONE. *HAPPY NEW YEAR.
Somebody told me I`m horrible with names.
I don’t mean to brag but when I’m at the Taco Bell drive thru placing my order, I don’t even look at the prices.
Real friends show me their boobs
Don`t forget to get your hurricane glasses before looking at it.
I wonder if Earth makes fun of the Moon for having no life.
I`m at my most popular when I just want to be alone.
If I ever start a band, I`m going to call it The Voices in My Head. Think of all the fun ways you can tell other people what you`re listening to...
Never ask a Leper to "give you a hand", seriously, don`t........................
Netflix would be by far the best dating site. "Here are 9 other singles in your area who have also watched Pokemon for 12 straight hrs"
NyQuil is great. I love the way it comes with it´s own shot glass