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Some people might as well post ‘Wants Attention’ as their Facebook status.
Some people just need sympathetic pat.........on the head........with a hammer
Yoga pants are just push up bras for your butt.
It`s not difficult to tell crocodiles and alligators apart. One will see you in a while whereas the other will see you later.
i know how to shutup.I just don`t know when.
I spend 90% of my time at the gym choosing the right song for my workout.
October is breast awareness month for women, men are usually aware of breasts all year round.
You can go a long way with a smile. You can go a lot farther with a smile and a gun.
If you people knew how expensive, time consuming and hard this stalking stuff is you wouldn`t freak out every time you see me in your bushes.....geesh
I was the hot single in my area the whole time.
The only way I`ll ever run a marathon is if I set up the booths and hand out tags.
Treat your mom to a margarita this mothers day! Remember you`re the reason she drinks.
I like to stop the microwave with 1 second to go. Makes me feel like a bomb defusal expert.
Constantly losing socks in the laundry but finding change. So logically there has to be a sock fairy.
According to my roommate`s diary, I have boundary issues.