Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Did you guys know grammar police rhymes with humorless a$$hole?
I got married so that I can be autocorrected even when my phone is off.
Why don`t prison inmates just use liquid soap?
Stop complaining about being single. We have bigger problems here. Like why McDonald’s doesn’t serve breakfast after 10:30.
I enjoy being the black sheep of the family ... Black sheep are the prettiest & don`t show as much dirt as the white ones.
Everybody values honesty, until they have an ugly baby.
It`s only a 4 way stop if each driver can read
Only at McDonald`s do they say, "Sorry about your wait" and actually mean "weight" :P
Walking past a new employee`s desk & yelling, "Do you think it`s a good idea to be surfing porn on your first day?" will never get old.
This stupid lady is taking forever using her damn coupons for her groceries. All these rolls of pennies are heavy! Hurry up!
Nothing says "I love you" like my cat aggressively bathing itself immediately after I pet her.
Trust is knowing you never have to look through their phone.
If you walk a mile in my shoes the least you can do is leave a pair of yours to wear.
If you want to go running with me, you`d better be prepared to walk a lot.
The awkward moment when someone say "I gotta use the restroom.... Never mind."