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Worries about the economy grow again after the world`s biggest yacht-selling company announce a drop in sails
According to this bathroom stall,,, my ex changed her number again.
If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.
No matter which path you choose, there will always be some asshole in front of you trying to make a left.
I just assume I do everything wrong since I don`t have a wife to confirm it.
Secretly replaced the bacon with beggin` strips. Let`s see if the customers notice.
Never take a Chess enthusiast to a restaurant with checkered tablecloths!……It’ll take them an hour to pass the salt!
There’s a police helicopter above my house right now, so I’m cashing in and calling everyone who has ever said “when pigs fly.”
I’ve found the best way to learn your co-workers’ names is by eating their food in the office fridge
Turns out a At Home DNA Test is not a good baby shower gift.
Just remember, outside of that beautiful slim bride on her wedding day there’s a fat woman just waiting to get in.
Wife really liked the "sex anytime, anywhere" coupon I gave her. Probably should have specified "with me"
I went for a run tonight. Sure, it was a beer run but, I was still sweating by the end.
I like to track people down, knock on their front door and say "we have ten people in common on Facebook, can I come in ?"
If Wal-Mart ends up selling mortgages, the trailer market will explode.