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One trenta cheeseburger please.
Singing passionately in the shower: Pretty good idea. Dancing passionately in the shower: Not so much.
I want someone to look at me the way I look at the waiter when he brings my meal.
No one is ever bored enough to start studying.
I used to think i was good at multi-tasking. Turns out its just my multiple personalities doing one task at a time.
The party`s not over `till you smile for the mugshot
“Yes” is a perfectly legitimate response when asked how many drinks you’ve consumed.
Just heard someone pronounce the H in wheel so I`m gonna need a minute
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is my favorite story about how you will get treated like CRAP ... until you have something someone else needs
If tomatoes are classed as a fruit, then doesnt that mean that ketchup is technically a smoothie? ... hmmm
Copy this and paste it in your status if you know someone, or have heard of someone who knows someone.. If you don´t know anyone, or even if you´ve heard of someone who doesn´t know anyone, then do still copy this. It´s important to spread the message. Oh and the hearts ? ? ? ? For crap´s sake, don´t forget the hearts! ? ? ? ?
You know you drank too much last night when you have to use google maps to locate yourself the next morning.
Thank god that racist basketball guy showed up or we`d still be talking about how we`re not finding that airplane.
Apparently my "Please STFU" face bears a strong resemblance to my "Oh, Please Keep Talking" face.
Forget Klondike, you should see what I`d do for an open bar.