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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

lol <- looks like a stick man drowning. lol
Of course your opinion matters. Just not to me.
If abortion is murder then are condoms kidnapping?
I look forward to paying off all my debt and finally getting back to just being broke.
"Hey, man, just called to see when you`re going to commercial. Now? Ok, us too." -Radio Stations
Happy 4th of July ... U can toss out the Christmas tree now
Friday is like a superhero that always arrives just in time to prevent me from savagely beating my coworkers with a keyboard.
Why did you have to take a half naked picture in front of a full length mirror to show off your new haircut?
Why are clothes so expensive? I shouldn`t have to pay so much to not be naked. Other people should pay me not to be naked.
I may be evil, crazy, insane and f*cking naughty but I do have some good traits, I just don`t dwell on them.
Crossfit is the healthiest way to get rid of your friends.
If you can`t handle me at my worst, then that sucks because that`s all there is to me.
I met a guy exactly like my father so I brought him home and my mom shot him.
Redneck`s famous last words: "Is that enough duck tape?"
A 5 year old asked me what marriage is like. So I gave him a chocolate bar and told him not to eat it.