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Well kids, texting wasn`t always easy. In my day, you had to work for it. You had to want it. You need an S? You had to click that 7 button FOUR TIMES.
The best thing about telepathy is…I know, right?
It’s ok if you don’t agree with me. I can’t force you to be right.
When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
My New Year`s resolution was to lose 15 lbs by the middle of February. I have 20 lbs. to go.
says if you don`t like the way I live my life, than there is some good news... you aren`t me!!
There is a 100% chance that I’ve called some of the most wonderful people in the world the most horrible things imaginable while in traffic.
After 3 "it`s complicated" statuses, Facebook should just default to "Unstable"
I was on the treadmill for 20 minutes this morning. Tomorrow I might even turn it on, but let’s not rush into things.
I`m so broke right now if anybody robbed me they`d just be practicing
When my kid grows up they`re not aloud to date until they`re married.
Serious question: Are doctors sure erectile dysfunction isn`t just a side effect of being married & bangin the same woman for years & years?
Home alone… Time to teach the neighbors what good music sounds like!
Insanity does not run in my family. It strolls through, taking it`s time and getting to know each one of us personally.
I`m posing nude for an art class. No one asked me to. I think they`re making ceramic bowls.