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So apparently the numbers on the toaster are minutes? I`ve thought for years it was degree of toasty-ness.
You guys make Facebook worth it! Just kidding, we are all wasting our lives.
"Should I add more liquor?" is the most ridiculous question I`ve ever been asked.
I can`t believe the music that kids listen to now-a-days! What ever happened to wholesome music like "Push It" and "Me So Horny"?
Breakfast in bed probably means you are dating someone. Dinner in bed means you`re probably single.
"2 weeks with my baby xoxoxo" lol,calm down romeo&juliet.
People with the loudest car audio systems usually have the worst taste in music.
All my friends are getting married and having kids or getting really good at video games.
If you use more toilet paper to wipe the tears out of your eyes then wip your bum in the morning...the food was too hot the night before
Candy Crushers keep inboxing me saying that they need "lives" as if I didn`t already know that.
I´m not cheap, but I am on special this weekend. ;)
Time to walk the cow and milk the dog, Happy Hump Day!
I went somewhere earlier and saw a frog parked illegally and the poor thing got toad!!
Someone invited me to their dog`s birthday party on Saturday. What a freak! I am NOT coming to your dog`s birthday party! Besides, my cat is getting married that weekend!
That time Homer`s arms were stuck in a vending machine until he realized he could just let go is basically what all of life is like