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I’m single by choice. Not my choice, but still a choice!
I wonder what "don`t touch" is in Braille.
Next time you are sad remember you can make a cheeseburger with donuts as the bun. Still sad? Add Sprinkles
Talking to you makes me invent new swear words.
I like you as a friend. Well, more like as a friend of a friend.
Anytime my boss leaves her office, I sneak in there and fart.
I don`t think any of my vampire jokes will ever see the light of day.
A group of toddlers is called a migraine
I decided I really need to read more. I watch way to much TV ... So I turned on the subtitles.
People be like… I will love you unconditionally on one condition.
I wasn`t going to get so many groceries, but there was a new girl working today and she took my check.
Hash browns not tags.
If you can read this please let me know - because it means I blocked the wrong person.
Going through the dealership lot with the salesman, pointing at every car and asking, "what kinda robot does that one turn into?"
The “Slow Children Playing” signs always make me sad. Would it cost that much more to thrown in punctuation?