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And, yet another day I’ve gone without using calculus.
When it comes to bug protection, you just can`t beat "OFF!".
Job interview: Please tell us why you’d love to work for us? ME: I need money :)
The older I get .... The more dangerous it is to sneeze
Procrastinating is just enjoying all the side quests in life whilst you delay the main quest story mission
I always look for the best looking cashier at the supermarket and always end up at the self checkout lane
Dating should be like buying a car... You should get to talk to the previous owners! SHOW ME THE MANFAX
I only seem to remember I want to lose weight after eating 6 cookies.
Old enough to know better, young enough to take a dare...
It`s not paranoia if they really are out to get you.
There`s 3 ways to get something done: 1. Do it yourself, 2. Hire someone or 3. Forbid your kids to do it.
Roses are red, Violets are blue... Sunflowers are yellow. I bet you thought this would be something sweet and charming, but it`s just some garden facts.
If anybody steals my identity, at least I’ll know who to look for.
I just hope my stalker doesn`t tell my dentist how infrequently I floss.
I`m trying to lose weight by eating carrots and bran muffins. It`s a fiber-optics diet.