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I`m not sure what post it was that caused me to lose 2 more Facebook friends today, but if I find out which one it was I will make sure to post it again....
Teaching your own mother how to use Facebook is like willingly signing your own death warrant
Someone figured out my password. Now I have to rename my dog.
OMG you guys! Almost hit a jogger while i was taking a selfie and driving today...so please you guys, be careful, do NOT jog.
Like medicine, some people should only be allowed to talk in doses. Like 30 sentences three times a day.
I think today I`ll stalk my stalker, just to shake things up a little.
It`s not cellulite, it`s my body`s way of saying "I`m sexy" ... in braille.
Siblings – the only people who will pick on you and then kick the a$$es of anyone else who does it.
It’s never too late for a coffee. After all it’s always morning somewhere in the world.
Wind chimes? I can`t see myself saying, its too quiet, you know what`d be nice? Noise.
I hate it when the little voices argue with my imaginary friends.
Its weird how your entire day flashes before your eyes the moment you realize that your zipper has been down and you haven`t pissed in 8 hrs
I love facebook because it helps me remember what I did the night before when I blacked out.
You can tell how old someone is by what part of the chex mix is their favorite.
If I die, bury me with fire extinguishers. Because: Hell