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Still not 100% clear on whether French Montana is a person or a steakhouse special.
I heard an ex got run down by a bus today. I thought "Wow, that could have been me!" But then, I can`t drive a bus..
I`m starting to think the Hangover Fairy and the Angel of Death are the same person.
people live & people die, but in the the end we still get high.. so if in life you dont succeed, F*CK it All & smoke some WEED ?
Siri, destroy the vehicle in front of me.
No matter what the product, a good way to throw off an aggressive salesman is to interrupt him and ask, “Yes, but does it work on cats?”
has often thought that what doesn’t kill us makes us drink stronger liquor.
This looks like a job for Superman! -unemployed Superman reading the classifieds
You know you have anger-management issues when you use an entire can of fly spray at point blank range to kill the tinest of moths...
Some days the only thought that stops me from being Dexter...is that I am WAY too pretty to go to prison
I only hate the people in front of me while checking out at the store. Everyone behind me is cool.
I´m not cheap, but I am on special this weekend. ;)
I`m no expert, but I would guess the internet really affected encyclopedia sales.
You can get super human strength when put in life or death situations. Last night I uncorked a bottle of wine with my teeth during a tantrum...
Life is too short for fake butter, cheese or people.