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Please excuse me for talking while you were interrupting.
If a man speaks at sea where no women can hear, is he still wrong?
My inner self is in Photoshop
I don`t understand why people have to "get ready" for bed....I`m always ready for bed.
McDonald`s sponsoring the Olympics is like Jack Daniels sponsoring the prom.
When I was your age, we had to walk ten miles in the snow to get drunk and have sā¬x.
The kids left w/my parents for a week. I plan to run around the house for an hour yelling "woo hoo", but after that my schedule is wide open
She likes to call it a conversation, but mostly she`s gathering evidence.
I read somewhere that we only use 10% of our brains. I wonder what the other half is for?
There are four main food groups: 1. Canned 2. Frozen 3. Fried 4. Drive-thru
My boss was all, "Do you know why I called you to the office, " and I was like, "I dunno is there a hidden security camera in the bathroom."
You know it`s a classy establishment when they quietly ask you to leave.
Hey Pringles, it`s time to widen the can. Your core demographic isn`t exactly thin-wristed.
am I the only one who would beat the sh!t out of someone for wearing a "forever lazy" to a tailgate?
When ever I think about the past...It brings back so many memories