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Hair pulling during sex is hot ... unless the whole wig comes off.
They sell Harvard shirts at Target so that’s a good way to save $ 399,984.05.
Making a woman laugh is one of the keys to winning her heart, unless she’s laughing at your junk.
You can tell yourself that Sesame Street is educational but Cookie Monster has lived there for like 40 years and still can`t conjugate verbs.
The best part about Valentine`s Day is that tomorrow is Friday.
Kids eat free today? Nice... In that case, I`ll have a water and my son will have the steak and shrimp combo with a kids bud light.
My nickname is Gilette because I`m the best a man can get. Also, I will cut you
We are guaranteed "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness". So, why did happiness get a Lamborghini and I got a `74 Pinto?????
She likes to call it a conversation, but mostly she`s gathering evidence.
I honestly don’t care if you think I’m crazy. You’re just a figment of my imagination anyway.
Possible Fact: White guys with corn rows make dangerous zombies, cuz you can`t possibly run away while laughing that hard at the same time.
Morning workout: Turn on treadmill. Untangle headphones for 14 minutes. Get frustrated, leave and eat doughnuts.
Sometimes I think I’m too picky. Then I watch my dog look for a place to poop.
Kinda hypocritical of me to complain about people who send mixed signals seeing as the mat in front of my door says "welcome"...
Jingle bells johnny smells, amelia ruled the show, frankies okay, marcus is gay, little mix all the way.. HAY !!!