Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"You know, I wish I`d never gone to the pool that day." ~Marco Polo
Sober me makes plans and drunk me cancels them. Its a good system.
Sorry, I`m in a hurry, lets talk while we walk... You go that way.
Keep your marriage fresh by writing each other love notes like "I considered smothering you with a pillow last night but didn`t."
I use awkward numerical range description anywhere between 13 and 4 times a day.
Glad McDonald`s don`t serve hotdogs, I don`t think I could order a McWeiner with a straight face.
I just found love.....its on page 369 in dictionary
If you can`t handle your alcohol I would gladly help you out
wants to rock and roll all night
Shout out to hotel maids changing sheets on February 15th.
OK look, if I meet you for a date and you don`t look anything like your pic, then you`re buying drinks for me until you do.
I`m 50% sure this cross eyed guy is starring at my tits.
Roses are red violets are blue vodka cost less than dinner for 2.
roes are red violets are blue he`s for me not for you if for any chance you`ll take my place i`ll use my fist and smash your face
During the holidays people have to make a choice between enjoying the holidays or spending it with the relatives.