Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The majority of life`s greatest lessons are learned while observing your drunk friends.
Can`t wait `til I`m old enough to pretend I can`t hear.
When I found out my toaster wasn`t waterproof, I was shocked!
I was at the pool today and tried to sneak a quick pee in the deep end. The lifeguard must have seen me. He blew his whistle so loud that I almost fell in.
You know you`re married when you find her sexier with clothes on.
When you`re a kid, you hate those moments when there is absolutely nothing to do. As an adult, you live for them.
ATTENTION: Upon further consideration, I am once again pushing back the debut of my summer beach bod. Thank you for your patience.
My roommate complained that I never lifted a finger to help around the house. So I lifted a finger. Apparently, it was the wrong one.
Nobody cleans a house faster than a man expecting to get laid.
Good friends don’t let you do dumb things… alone.
I have always wanted to start a brand of Christian themed lollipops and call them Catho-licks.
I wish my bank account refilled as fast as my laundry basket.
Why does the person who snores always fall asleep first?
Ice skating is just walking in cursive.
Research is what I`m doing when I don`t know what I`m doing.