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I did 26 situps this morning. It’s not a lot, but then again, how many times can someone snooze an alarm clock ?
They say the camera adds 10lbs. Stop eating cameras!
The irony of social media is that the majority of users are all alone.
For those who do not know what ADHD can do to a person, let me expla.....oooh look i got a text message.
What`s the lowest IQ someone can have while still being a relatively full functioning adult? My wife wants to know.
Don`t be sad laundry, nobody`s doing me either.
Remember, laughter is the best medicine. Unless you have diarrea.
I get so tired of the same old BS...can´t I get a little BS variety?
When I get a prescription for drugs, I don`t ask, `Will it work? Are there any side effects?` No, it`s `Can I drink with these?`
HR and I apparently disagree on what "debriefed" means.
I hate it when TV shows say they contain "adult situations" but then don`t show anyone going to a job they hate, and paying their bills.
If people could hear the next five seconds after we hit end call, we would all have no friends.
I stop at random Jehovah`s Witness houses and drop off copies of Rolling Stone.
I`m not sarcastic…I`m just intellegent beyond your understanding.
Bad decisions make good stories.