Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`ve gotten to that age where nothing fits right anymore. Even my birthday suit looks like it needs ironing...
The good thing about Facebook is if someone gets on your nerves enough, you can make them cease to exist in your world and you don`t even have to hide a body.
Now what`s funny is "Si" from Duck Dynasty
How am I supposed to make great life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next?
Friendship must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, nudity, inappropriateness, and shenanigans.
The proper way to use a stress ball is to throw it at the last person to piss you off
When you think about it, the little old man behind the curtain in Oz was the original catfish.
I don’t know what my neighbor’s name is and we’ve been neighbors too long for me to ask.
Pizza: 73% delicious, 27% also delicious.
In case I drink too much and pass out for a while, Happy New Year you guys.
If my ceiling fan could hold my weight, I`d never be bored again.
Every time I see an obese cop, a small part of me hopes he has to chase me.
Donald Duck, saying screw you to pants since 1934.
Being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible
This ad says: "3 out of 5 smokers die" Apparently the other 2 become immortal.