Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Showing cleavage doesn’t fix your face.
I support recycling, I wore this shirt yesterday.
"Do not touch" must be one of the scariest things to read in braille
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
When one door closes and another one opens, it`s time to pack up and leave because your house is clearly haunted.
Some people are like rain clouds. Once they f*ck off, it`s a beautiful day.
Good things come to those who wait ... Which explains why I`m always late.
On a scale of 9 to 10, how would you rate me?
I`m not saying you`re an idiot. I`m just saying that....Umm how do I word this?? I guess I am saying your`e an idiot.
Being a parent means hiding in a closet to eat a donut so you don`t have to share.
If cartoons can wear the same clothes everyday then so can I, dammit!
“Screw it” – My final thought before making most decisions.
I`m not saying my wife`s voice is annoying, but right now I`m really jealous of deaf people.
my doctor says I have the body of a 20 year old, the mind of a 30 year old and the wisdom of a someone twice my age, to which my husband asked " What did he say about your fat ass?" I said to my husband, "Oh , the doctor didn`t say anything about you dear!".
My dad use to take me to the circus to see the clowns, freakshows and the bearded lady. Now... I can see them anytime shopping at Walmart.