Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Nipples: Nature`s thermometer.
At first, I had my doubts about using autocorrect. But my new phone probed me wrong. PROVED DAMNIT! PROVED!
Boobs are to men what laser pointers are to cats.
Its not my fault if I blame everyone for my mistakes...right?
On a scale of Doopers, you`re pretty Super.
I have no idea who is gonna die first in this movie, because everyone is white.
I`m pretty sure my laundry breeds while I sleep.
Do you ever dislike someone so much that you hate when people are nice to them?
It deosnβt mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pcale. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a pobelrm. Tihs is buseace the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Tihs wulod not be psibsole if yuor sutipd. I hpoe for yuor skae you wree albe to raed tihs or taht maens yuor an idoit or barin dmagaed.
I`m only 30 lbs away from my New Year`s resolution to lose 20 lbs!!
Admit it, you have that one voice that you only use on animals and babies.
I take so many things with a grain of salt that I`m surprised I don`t have high blood pressure.
The correct term for gluten-free, sugarless, vegan brownies is "compost."
Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. Nothing bad has happened, but Iβm trying to be proactive.
Moses had the first tablet with cloud connectivity.