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You feel naked without your phone, I feel naked without my clothes.
I’m going to start telling women that I’m available for a limited time only in hopes that their shopping instinct kicks in.
Happy new years, my friends. Thanks for supporting the site, Ralf.
I look forward to paying off all my debt and finally getting back to just being broke.
I took out an ad for a girlfriend recently and 10 guys tried to give me theirs.
I hate it when I`m singing a song and the artist keeps messing up the words.
The key to a successful relationship: Tools > Internet Options > Clear history.
Sometimes, the light at the end of the tunnel is just a lost guy with a flashlight.
For a guy who makes as many bad decisions as I do, I feel like I should be having more fun.
I don’t let my friends do stupid things… ALONE!
What idiot called it the "Happy Birthday" song instead of New Age music
It’s amazing how easily “I have 10 minutes to waste before I need to leave” accidentally turns into “oh crap I’m running late.”
I`m not naughty ... I`m mischievously creative
funny status idea: a funny and popular one
Of course I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one.