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There’s a special place in Hell for people who call to see if you got their email!
One good thing about being ugly is that when someone stares at you for too long you automatically know they wanna rob you.
Before we start this relationship, I am going to need you to explain a few pics in your Facebook albums.
Bring donuts so your coworkers will like you. Cut them in half so they will hate you again.
thinking men should come with a carfax....
We`re all brave until we realize the cockroach has wings
You call it multiple personality disorder... I call it being mayor of the little town in my head!
I hate when people call me and ask "WHO IS THIS?"
I’m old enough to know what’s bad for me and young enough to do it.
I thought I was feeling a little bloated today, turns out I had my underwear on backwards.
I have a friend with one eye, he`s pretty cool about it, instead of :D he sends .D
When I was on the plane the stewardess asked, do you need some headphones? I said, Hell Yeah, but how did you know my name was Phones?
At times I wish I had a clone, but then I realize, I could never live with that a$$hole.
Wesley Snipes was released from prison this week. Now he can finally begin filming "Blade 4: Twilight."
It’s not pretty being easy.