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I don’t have bumper stickers because I don’t believe in anything strongly enough to potentially get my car keyed.
This guy keeps asking me to help pet his neglected, one-eyed trouser snake. What a sweet guy! I think he`s a vet. Ladieeees! A doctor!!
I have no problem giving credit when credit is due. It’s giving payment when payment is due that I seem to struggle with.
Pool party at my house, bring ur own pool..
Gimmie a P. Gimmie an R. Gimmie an O. Gimmie a C. Gimmie an R. Gimmie an A. Gimmie an S. Gimmie a....oh, nevermind. I`ll finish this later.
There 492 billionaires in the United States, and not one of those goddamned losers has decided to become Batman.
figured out today that my GPS has auto-correct....I put in "Beach house" and ended up in my ex`s driveway.
In a parallel universe calories are trying to burn people.
Step 1: remove food from packaging Step 2: dig packaging out of trash to locate cook time
In order to get my teenagers attention I shut off the WiFi router and wait for them in the room it`s in.
YOU KNOW WHY!!!!!!!!!!
Despite what people may tell you, its the fat that makes you look fat... NOT the dress!! lol
I don’t have a problem with friends who ask to borrow money. I love a good laugh as much as the next guy.
I don`t know what your problem is, but I`ll bet it`s hard to pronounce.
I`m trying to give up sexual innuendos. But it`s hard........so hard......