Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Don`t be afraid to laugh at yourself you could be missing out on the joke of the century.
The best things in life are free, but they still screw you on shipping.
You know you`re addicted to your iphone when you start using your fingers to zoom into things on your laptop computer. Or a printed photo. Or a book. Or your watch.
If I were invisible I`d go beat up a street mime...the applause he would get would be incredible
No pants are the best pants.
Find a penny pick it up and all day long you`ll have good luck. Or some kind of virus because pennies are dirty and gross.
Calling someone "stupid" is mean. Unless they actually are. Then it`s just a diagnosis.
I go on dates just to remind myself that being single is awesome.
Me: *kisses her on both cheeks goodbye* Cashier: That`s really not necessary
I`m not leaving here without some kind of balloon.
If I`m in a public bathroom and someone else in that same bathroom is on the phone and states that they are ANYWHERE ELSE, I flush my toilet
Treat your mom to a margarita this mothers day! Remember you`re the reason she drinks.
99% of people in this world are stupid, luckily I`m in the other 2%
80% of my life is pulling percentages out of thin air and stating them as facts...
That awkward moment when you forget what you’re watching during the commercial break.