Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
is cuddling up with a good book and a cup of tea. Ah, who am I kidding... I´m looking at Hustler and having a beer.
Lord, if I can`t be skinny, make my friends look fat.
I never talk to myself......But I do have some candid conversations with the other personalities!
When a movie says "Based on a true story." it means this is sort of what happened but with way uglier people.
the kids next door have challenged me to a water balloon fight. just updating my status while waiting on the water to boil.
I have no idea what a bejeezus is,,, but apparently mine scares easy.
Ever talk to someone so stupid you can hear them misspelling words?
I hate brushing my teeth at night. It signifies I can`t have any more food and I`m never ready for that kind of commitment
If a woman tells you that you’re right, that’s called sarcasm.
A woman saying "I`m not mad at you" is like a dentist saying "You won`t feel a thing."
Buying someone flowers is kind of a weird idea. Like: Hey, these are for you, now watch them slowly die, because I love you.
Kids today will never know the frustration of having to rewind their dads porn tapes to the exact same spot...
Mail from Grandma: FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:No subject
A friend like you is worth a million dollars. So, if you don’t mind…can I sell you?
Crazy is not a destination, it is a way of life.