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If you keep doing what you´ve always done, you´ll keep getting what you´ve always gotten.
I’d tell you what I’m doing but I’ve learned from other evil villains not to announce my plans first.
It`s funny how when you post a status and some people think it`s about them..Hahahaha it was.
Step 1 - Change your Wi-Fi password to "blowmefirst." Step 2 - Wait for someone to ask you for it.
Dating a stripper is like eating a noisy bag of chips in church. Everyone looks at you in digust, but deep down inside they want some.
I used to date this girl that worked at Hasbro, but I finally got sick of all her games.
You can run from your problems. Unless your problem is a cheetah.
me + you = overpopulation... :) :p
The guy who invented, "Take Your Child To Work Day," probably forgot to drop his kid off at school on his way to work..
At this stage of my life, "Good in Bed" means not snoring or stealing the covers.
I believe in karma which means I can do bad things to people all day long and just assume they deserve it.
To all my ex girlfriends. Don`t worry. I`m still an asshole.
I imagine some people are like...: `should I take the shower?...no...I`m taking the train today...`
If Welch’s is 100% Grape Juice, then why the heck do you list 4 other ingredients?
I was just told that I over-analyze things. I need a couple of days to think about that before deciding if I should be offended.