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I`ve decided to go my own way and think "inside the box" to be different ... Wow its dark in here!
Its all fun and games..until you get stuck on a level of candy crush!!!
7,000 people were treated in emergency rooms for injuries sustained from fireworks. Don’t be a statistic, let your friend light the fuse
Isn`t it strange that bankruptcy attorneys don`t let you make payments....
A good way to mess with a jogger is to run up alongside him and say, "It`s okay, I think we lost him."
Everyday I fall in love with you more and more. Except yesturday, yesturday you were pretty f*cking annoying.
99% of people in this world are stupid, luckily I`m in the other 2%
I love Costco. You don`t go there thinking you`re gonna buy a 12-pack of watermelons but you`ll probably leave with one.
The best time to re-examine your life is when you find yourself reluctantly nodding to the questions asked at the start of an infomercial.
Just because I know I`m a "Good looking, extremely intelligent, funny as hell, sexy ass, Motherf#ker" doesn`t mean I`m "Conceited"...Im more like a "Realist", that just so happens to be very good with adjectives!...A "Bad-Ass Realist", that is!
NO, I didn’t say you WERE stupid. I said, you ARE stupid. There is nothing past tense about it.
A movie ticket for a baby should cost at least $50.
Whoever made up the saying "It`s the thought that counts" never got a pair of crocs for Christmas.
I have two words for this week. BEER ME!!!
Hey ladies breastfeeding in public, why don`t you ever smile in my pictures?