Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Any of you girls wanna come over tonight for pizza and sex? ... I`m just kidding. There`s no pizza.
You make me want to be a better class of psycho.
"I ran a half marathon" sounds so much better than "I quit halfway through a marathon"
I refuse to jump on the `I hate Mondays` bandwagon. I hate all workdays equally
I bet the first person that heard a parrot talk really lost their sh!t.
Taking your pants off is a good way to let someone know you feel comfortable in their home.
Shake up a random soda pop in the company fridge today. You deserve it.
If someone says you`re not a mermaid, don`t talk to them. You don`t need that kind of negativity in your life.
I want someone to look at me the way I look at cupcakes.
love me or leave me,,HEY!!! where is everybody going?
Note to self: stop buying stuff on Ebay when drunk. Anyone need a zamboni?
Birth control pills should really be made for men. It makes more sense to unload a gun than to shoot a bulletproof vest.
After reading some marriage post, I`m beginning to suspect we all may have been married to the same person.
My 5 year plan includes purchasing a Slurpee machine.