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Somehow, we`ve got to find a way to STOP the driver of that bus that everyone keeps getting thrown under.
I miss being the age when I thought I would have my sh!t together by the age I am now.
You bring everyone a lot of joy ... when you leave the room.
If the cigarette tax is meant to discourage smoking, is the income tax meant to discourage working?
No matter what happens this month, at least youβre not a turkey.
When a girl tells you that she just had her period, you are officially in the friendzone.
It only takes a second to show someone how you feel. The police call it βIndecent Exposureβ but whatever.
My chiropractor just told me that I`m well adjusted. See? Not everyone thinks I`m a total weirdo...
After 3 "it`s complicated" statuses, Facebook should just default to "Unstable"
It`s just adorable how the Liquor Store cashier always wishes me a good week as if I won`t be back tomorrow.
Stupid people who suddenly make a smart decision have no idea how confusing that is for the rest of us.
βI donβt know why people dislike jury duty. I think being able to play god with othersβ lives sounds fun!β β How I got out of jury duty
Nobody tell my husband that "year round periods" aren`t a thing.
At the young age of 5, a bear told me that I am the only person who can prevent forest fires. Why I was chosen, Iβll never know.
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