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I wonder what "don`t touch" is in Braille.
Always wonder why do people even bother making good quality pinatas?
There`s no easy way to tell someone you lost their kid in a high stakes game of duck duck goose.
In the 1960s, if you said "All my music is in the cloud" it was due to mushrooms; not Apple.
His idea of cleanliness is sweeping the room with a glance.
Timehop... reminding us that the stupid people we know today were just as stupid 5 years ago.
Safe words are for quitters.
Sorry I cancelled at the last minute, but it took me forever to think of an excuse I hadn`t used yet.
I add "Drink Beer" to my weekend to-do list so I know I`ll at least get one thing done.
I don`t care about Disney lying about the Prince Charmings out there. I`m more annoyed that random woodland creatures won`t clean my house.
Putting your finger on someone`s lips and saying "Shhhh... Not another word" is super-romantic. But the cops didn`t think so.
How do you make your wife scream during sex?? Call her and tell her about it.
The person next to me just farted.. Does this mean my lungs are full of his poo particles -.-
Men at 25 play football. Men at 40 play tennis. Men at 60 play golf. Have you noticed that as you get older your balls get smaller?
Conserve energy: How would you feel if someone turned you on and then left?