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For once I’d like to get kicked into a bar
I dreamt I was you..I hated myself. Luckily I woke up..woah that was close.
I`ll just admire you from afar.. Or 500ft. That`s what this paper says.
If only I did everything with the same precision in which I craft my sandwiches.
Do you realize that Scrooge was essentially water-boarded into changing his outlook on Christmas?
Life in the fast lane ? Heck, I live in oncoming traffic.
H.A.T.E.R.S. : Having Anger Towards Everyone Reaching Success?
Doing some laundry and hot single socks in my dryer are looking for a mate.
One of my best talents is pretending to like people. Unfortunately, I only show it when no one`s around.
The Bible is Christianity’s Terms of Service. Nobody actually reads it, but as long as u agree to everything in it, u can use the Heaven app
If you cry loudly enough, your boss will usually let you go home.
And then God said, "Seems unfair to have given man an extra limb so to balance it out I`ll give women the power over which to control it."
Please ignore this status, I am standing alone and I don`t want to seem like a total loner, so I am making it look like I am texting
I feel like I would enjoy getting out of bed more if I only had to do it like 3 times a week. This every day thing is overkill.
The only solution to a problem is to find the source and Kill it.