Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I wish I could feel as happy as an adult, as I felt as a kid when the teacher wheeled in the TV during class
I`m old enough to remember when cell phones actually got smaller every year.
If today drags anymore, it`s going to come out of the closet in a sexy little dress
You`ve reached the limitations of my medications.
The worst part about looking for a job is if you`re successful, you end up with a job.
Advantage #46 of being single. I have entire closets that are completely empty.
I`m sorry I hurt your feelings. When I called you stupid, I really thought you already knew.
Someone said to me earlier, "Your face looks very familiar". I said, "I know, I`ve had it a long time."
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She is nine-seven now, and we don`t know where they hell she is.
I used to have superpowers but the psychiatrist took them away.
I feel like water solves all problems. Wanna lose weight? drink water .. clear face ? Drink water.. Tired of your better half? Drown them
You guys, how can true love still exist if we don`t have mixed tapes anymore?
Life hack: If you keep your mouth shut, no one will know you`re so stupid
How long are Winnie the Pooh and Tigger going to ignore the fact there`s something seriously wrong with Eeyore
ATMs should have built in breathalyzers. I would save so much money.