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Is the CEO of Kraft also known as The Big Cheese?
In sign language, arthritis is a speech impediment.
I am so thankful for all the people that aren`t in my life.
You don`t have to like me, I`m not a Facebook status.
Some marriages end up fine, the others last forever.
Why doesn’t The Rock just tell us what he’s cooking? I can’t pair wines like this.
Teens are always full of energy until someone says the words "clean up".
Golf would be a lot more fun to watch on TV if the balls were on fire
It was so cold that when we milk the cows we got ice cream.
Writing is a great career when people like hearing what you have to say but don`t want to look at you.
I make self-sabotage look like an art form.
you know it`s a good fart when it wakes you from a dead sleep and you pull a butt muscle at the same time.
As far as Im concerned, you are not my concern.
My posts come from a dark place.. I haven`t paid my light bill in 3 months.
Leaving a watermelon on someone’s doorstep in the middle of night is a pretty inexpensive way to occupy a portion of their mind forever.