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I may look like I`m doing nothing, but in my head I`m quite busy.
I told you I was trouble. You should have listened to me instead of staring at my boobs.
No PornHub, I would NOT like to share this video with my friends and family on Facebook.
Sad Fact- Boobie traps seldom involve boobies.
Possible Fact: White guys with corn rows make dangerous zombies, cuz you can`t possibly run away while laughing that hard at the same time.
What do people mean "get ready for bed"? I am ALWAYS ready for bed.
The reason dogs look confused when you open the refrigerator door is because they`re thinking "Why don`t you just eat ALL the food?"
Trying to get in shape for all those people I`m not having sex with.
I just watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes and thought, "Wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized I just watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes.
That awkward moment when you sing the wrong part of a song with confidence.
I`m really sick of responsibility ... and underwear
I know I am an acquired taste. If you don`t like me, you need to acquire some taste. Or go f*ck yourself. Whichever.
The only rule of the Chess Club is to hide from the Fight Club.
I swear Hollisters electricity bill must be like $1 a month..
If I was just learning English and you told me a sport called BOXING takes place in a SQUARE area called a RING, I`d probably give up.