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You`re only limited by your own imagination! And money. And talent. And genetics. And time. And other people. Go for it!
Do you ever think that if it weren`t for someone smoking Marijuana they might of killed you already. . .
Oh the pranks I would pull if I were invisible
Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone.. and if I do, I’ll tell them not to tell anyone.
The only yoga stretch I’ve perfected is the yawn.
Just googled "who gives a sh!t?" My name wasn`t in the search results.
I don’t like people who can’t make fun of themselves. It just makes more work for me.
I just awesomed all over the place.
Roughly 82% of my day is trying to decide what my next meal will be
I like to smile at people who don`t like me because I`m an asshole
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She is nine-seven now, and we don`t know where they hell she is.
Whenever I give money to the homeless, I get yelled at that "they are just gonna buy booze with it". All I can think is ... Oh like I wasn`t ..
That Awkward Moment when you’re being sarcastic and someone believes you.
Facebook is not so bad once you block your family and friends.
They should open a bar and call it "The Gym" so I can be like those annoying people on Facebook who brag about going to the gym every day.