Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I downloaded this app called "Hide & Go Seek". Ever since then I cant find my damn phone.
To all them girls who go out , looking sexy as hell but have boyfriends.......Please continue to do so when you`re married.
I hate it when people beg for likes, like if you agree?
Some days, I think that Dexter dude has the right idea.
What kind of jerk makes an anti-anxiety pill difficult to break in half?
My hobbies include trying to close the elevator door before someone else gets on.
Settle down joggers at red lights, settle down.
Did you know statistically you`re more likely to be killed by a coconut falling from a tree than by a coconut stabbing you with a kitchen knife.
If women are so perfect at multitasking, how come they can`t have a headache and sex at the same time?
The secret to a successful lemonade stand is vodka.
The only exercise I`ve done this month is running out of money
"I went to Jared" I whispered as she slowly opened the velvety box of Subway coupons.
If someone threw a rock and knocked me off my donkey, would I be stoned off my a$$?
Being a parent means often saying your child is shy rather than "he sees how creepy u are, that`s why he doesn`t want to shake your hand".
If we all had to wear a warning label, what would yours say?