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My mom never allowed violent video games. Just family-friendly board games with questions like, "Who murdered this guy with a pipe?"
I`ll never understand why single women waste so much time on dating websites when there are so many eligible bachelors right here in this adult bookstore.
Just told the guy at the second drive-thru window that the guy at the first drive-thru window wants to fight him.
I like to keep my friends close, and my attractive friends even closer.
Keep the dream alive......... Hit the snooze button.
Let`s all play a game: For every political post, you must post 5 non political posts. #makefacebookhappyagain
Woke up this morning and the alarm clock was laughing at me....then I realized it was upside down and the time was 7:07
The only thing that makes me happy about the launch of a new model cell phone is that I can finally afford the previous model.
Why do people ask "What the hell were you thinking?" Obviously I was thinking I was going to get away with it and not get caught.
You know you`re getting old when you have to have a drink to motivate you to go out & have a drink.
i`m my own therapist...which explains so much.
Some people`s lives are like open books... Mine is like a trashcan without a lid.
When someone walks away from me shaking their head, I totally agree.
The problem with this generation? The cartoons suck.
I will literally spend $20 on food but won’t buy a $20 shirt.