Daily Silly Status

Have a day. That`s about as inspirational I get.

Is "drunk" an emotion? Because if it is, I am feeling SUPER emotional right now...

I´m on a whisky diet. I´ve lost three days already!

Felt like being Bad today, like an Outlaw Bad, felt like doing something illegal, so I ran through the house ripping off all the Mattress Tags..... Come and get me Coppers, but you won`t take me alive.......................

Have you ever just sat there and realized how weird you are?

Time flies when you`re throwing watches.

The best part about being an adult is, nobody can tell you, you can`t have ice cream for breakfast.

If I notice an unfinished jigsaw puzzle at some`s house, I always take a piece home with me.

Anyone know how to get a red wine stain off a baby? asking for a friend

I`m only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand

My nickname at work is "HR wants to see you"

Hey, did you know that in two days, tomorrow will be yesterday!

Does this floor I’m laying on make me look unmotivated?

If I`m your emergency contact, for your sake, I hope that hospital sends texts too.

I wake up everyday planning to be productive. Then a voice in my head says, " hahaa, good one!" Then we laugh and laugh and take a nap.