Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
It`s not a walk of shame if you leave on a pogo stick.
I hate when our cat runs into the room, hisses at an empty chair then runs back out and I end up in the bathtub holding a crucifix.
It must be annoying for nudists when they have to clean their glasses
Is it ok to take a personal day if none of your pants fit? Asking for a friend.
I love how in movies when someone types a really embarrassing secret they always accidentally send it to the whole school, and they also coincidentally have the phone number of everyone.
You had me at, "we`ll make it look like an accident."
You look like I need another drink
Gambling addiction hotlines would do so much better if every fifth caller was a winner.
This jar of peanut butter says "may contain nuts" on it. Remember when survival of the fittest was a thing? Good times.
What if , one day you randomly wake up and realize that you`re whole life was just a dream.
As i get older i realize I do a LOT more YOGA...attempting to tie my shoelaces
The hardest part about having a vivid imagination is finding enough things to climb on to avoid all the frickin’ lava on the floor!
Admit it, you`ve answered Dora at least once in your life.
Turns out indoor stone throwing is a mistake no matter what your house is made of.