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Don`t judge if you don`t know me. Unless you`re my bartender & you say "This guy looks like he needs another double vodka martini" then please do..
Why do crutons come in resealable bags? Are we really worried about them going stale?
I got this weird condition where I drink a case of beer and fall down.
Eat breakfast: Check...Pay Phone: Check...Conquer the world: Still Pending...
i just caught a disease so rare that even i dont have it .
Any fool can use a computer ... Many do
I just spent an hour at the gym. I couldn’t find a close enough parking spot so I left.
The tragedy of Scooby-Doo is that whoever kept supplying criminals with such realistic prosthetic masks was never caught.
Porn is the only type of entertainment where "not watching the whole thing" means it was good.
Are there actually people who get out of the shower to pee? I want to meet them.
It`s funny how many people I have in my phones contact list who all have the same name Do Not Answer.
thinks we should all jump out of our chairs and do the 5 second happy dance! READY! GO!
Why can`t insomnia start in the morning.
Don`t feel bad if you don`t enjoy my posts. The important thing to remember is that I do. I enjoy all of them. That`s what matters.
When your Dr. says "I`ll need to Google that"..... it`s time to change Doctors