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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!
If I`ve learned anything from 50 Shades of Grey, its that women still haven`t figured out you can watch porn at home... for free.
Ever wondered why there is a stairway to heaven, and a highway to hell? There´s apparently more traffic going to hell!!
Wait, there`s a "wrong hole"?
Afraid of not getting what you ordered when online shopping…..Ha, try online dating
My doctor wrote me a prescription for dailysex but my girlfriend insists it says dyslexia.
Dear Toilet Paper Makers, We`ve all unexpectedly run out at some point. Please make the tube in the center softer. Thank you...
I use a blender to make protein shakes in my office every day. That way when I use it to mix up a pitcher of margaritas no one even notices.
Are you supposed to get an email that says “HAHAHAHAHA” after signing up for Match.com?
As I slowly ran my finger down her G string I thought to myself, this is a nice guitar.
I remember the days when I could refer to my knees as right and left. Now I refer to them as the good and bad knee.
Worst part about getting a phone call is the 12 seconds you can`t use your phone as you wait for it to stop ringing.
There are no words to describe how I feel about you... Good thing God invented the middle finger.
Of course China is dominating the olympics, they probably made all of the equipment.
How can they have a Facebook group called Facebookers Anonymous? That`s like trying to hold a successful AA meeting in a bar.