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I shook the vending machine until my chips fell, so yeah, I’m a hunter-gatherer.
I worry about what my rubber ducky thinks about me when I`m naked 0.0
Half the journey is knowing where you’re parked.
My method of going "offline" in FB chat is to simply ignore you.
Thanks to everyone for the Birthday wishes! To anyone who missed it.”No cake for you!!"
I just watched a puppy do something really cute. It was like a real life YouTube video.
Scientists discover that caterpillars can whistle. Am I the only one wondering if they`re concentrating their efforts on the wrong things?
You know you`ve picked the right friends if no one has nominated you for the ice bucket challenge
There`s no use worrying about things you can`t control. Except for bodily functions...Hopefully you can control THEM. :/
Just completed a 0.00 mile run - preceded by 11 oreo cookies
All`s not lost my Friends. It won`t be long til people realize Selfie Sticks also make wonderful lightning rods......
You can save a lot of money by walking face-first into a spiderweb every morning instead of buying coffee.
After a night of heavily drinkin` there`s one thing I can`t stand...and that`s up.
I woke up praying McDonald`s would still be serving breakfast but I just missed it by 6 hours.
Teacher: Have a seat! Student: Thanks! *picks up the chair and leaves* -- (°_°)