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I wonder how many people die each year from lifeguards running in slow motion?
This pizza looks like a pie chart of 100% good news.
Just saw the trailer for "Noah." I hear The Book is better.
Don’t you hate when the whole bus is empty, but some guy sits right next to you? I know you do. That’s why I do it.
If you have alphabet fridge magnets and morals, you probably shouldn`t invite me over.
The worst thing about rich people is I`m not one of them.
wassup pips! :-) no i don`t mean you guys pip, get it? piping?? haaahaaa... looks like i`m the only one laughing right? well it sounded funnier in my head (-_-)
The only time I hit the panic button on my car keys is accidentally, and the only person who panics is me.
I talk to myself because my answers are the only ones I accept
Watch out! It’s quite possible some of my best mistakes haven’t been made yet.
To-Do List : Nothing[?]
I always clench up before I drive into a tunnel because I`m afraid Wile E. Coyote might have just drawn it on there.
Sometimes, the light at the end of the tunnel is just a lost guy with a flashlight.
I find that some of the best jokes are the ones that drag you in slowly and then leave you waiting in antici...
Just ran across a great dessert recipe...Cut up some bananas, apples & oranges in a bowl. Add fresh squeezed lime juice. Then toss it in the trash and eat a cheesecake.