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Beauty comes in all shapes & sizes. Small, large, circle, square, thin crust, thick crust, stuffed crust, extra toppings.
Yes, I know why you pulled me over. I didn`t see you in your little hiding spot over there, so I couldn`t slow down in time.
Why am I single? Answer me. . . ANSWER ME YOU STUPID CATS!!!
My mind is exceptionally quiet.... I am suspicious that I am up to something I don`t want myself to know about.
I wonder what my dog has named me?
There`s nothing like sitting by an open fire..watching the evidence burn.
It takes balls to be a man.
I don`t know why friends and family keep getting pregnant when I have two kids right here they can have.
You can’t choose your family, but you can ignore their phone calls.
A shark will only attack you if you’re wet.
Never call a woman crazy because she will say, “I’m not crazy!” and then go and do something crazy. Probably with matches.
I always try to behave but there are usually too many other options.
Dudes get one chest or arm tattoo and suddenly forget to wear shirts.
Some people say I`m a dreamer, others say, “If you fall asleep at work again you`re fired"
I need a bank to do two things for me: give me a loan and leave me alone