Daily Silly Status

Nothing is more dangerous than a woman “gathering her thoughts”.

If running away from my problems counts as exercise then yes, I work out a lot.

HardCoreStrategy 22 hours ago 6 3? Guys are? in a cafe. The first guy says "I?? have the smallest arm in the? world." The second guy says I have the?? smallest head in? the world." The third guy says I have the smallest d^ck in the world. They all? go to? the Guinness Book of World records. The? first? guy comes back and says I really? have the smallest arm in the world. The seconds guy? returns and? says? I have the smallest head in the world. The third guy comes back? and angrily?? says WHO? T

I wake up every morning with the joy & excitement of wanting to go directly back to sleep.

I bet if the movie "mirrors" releases part 3, the 1st victim will die while trying to take a selfie

I know money talks but I wish mine had a better vocabulary instead of just ‘Spend me’.

My downstairs neighbor thinks I`m a little creepy and that I overstep my bounds. At least that`s what she wrote in her diary.

If I owned a copy store I would only hire identical twins.

I didn’t scream out someone else’s name during sex. I was thinking of baby names in case you get pregnant…

I`m not lazy, I just rest before I get tired

Sometimes a special someone walks right into your life and helps you realize how much better your life was before they walked into it.

Back in my day it was called daydreaming…not ADHD.

I`m 50% sure this cross eyed guy is starring at my tits.

People that do stuff- what’s your secret?

The best government job has to be assigning names to secret operations.